“The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School,” is the summary provided for the readers at the bottom of Feddie Girl’s eye-catching cover. The humor was more dark than lighthearted, and at times the book had a tragic feel.
Carlotta Ikedi is a thirteen-year-old girl suffering from teenage rebellion. While that scenario is practically typical of every American teen – poor, middle-class or otherwise – Carlotta seems to suffer from teenage punkitis to a greater degree. Right from the story’s onset we find the heroine up to no good, cutting class and smoking a joint with a group one could not classify as friends; her vocabulary would make a drunken sailor blush.
Carlotta’s father, a prominent doctor going through several crises of his own, is fed up with his daughter’s bad-ass attitude and ships her off to Nigeria. Her mother is a college professor and a recovering alcoholic who has found her way back to the bottle. She readily complies to Dr. Ikedi’s forceful plan. Can we wonder at the young girl’s rage and lack of discipline?
Nona David has created a well-written and entertaining work of fiction, with the story taking wild and complicated turns. The readers are transported from Carlotta’s hell-on-Earth during her time at the boarding school, to Richard Ikedi’s entanglements with the mob, to Shelley Ikedi’s very bad life choices. This is a very dysfunctional, broken family, each separated by more than just mileage.
Feddie Girl is categorized as Women’s Fiction/Adventure. This reviewer found herself pulled in more by the sub-plots than the central focus which was of Carlotta’s plight. Perhaps older female readers may find themselves doing the same as that is the target audience whom the book is aimed at.
Overall, Feddie Girl was unique with its multicultural blend, offering many readers a glimpse of another world many would rarely see. While not the light romp expected, it definitely provided insight into the teenage mind.
We are getting close to the release date of advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School.
And hang-on, we got a new cover coming too.
You didn’t think we were gonna use the same stuff we have blasted on blogs all over the Internet, did you? You actually did? Lol! My bad!
Nah, we got the whole nine yards covered.
New cover, poster, and blurbs would be uploaded on the publisher’s site on July 13th. Watch-out!!!
Official release date for the novel is set for February, 2010.
Hey, hold-on!!!
Advance/pre-release copies would be available in three countries as follows:
United States: July 27th, 2009
United Kingdom: July 31st, 2009
Nigeria: August 24th, 2009
Remember, advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL will only be available via bernardbooks.com and only to those lucky few who reserve a copy before July 27th.
Others would have to wait and read the novel after February, 2010. If you don’t wanna be one of those slackers who will not get a taste of FEDDIE GIRL until next year, you gotta buckle up and RESERVE AN ADVANCE COPY NOW!
Don’t miss-out on this awesome opportunity. Read FEDDIE GIRL six months before the rest of the world!!! LOL!!! Lotta Luv,
Carlotta
Last year, my parents freaked out and sent me, their twelve year old daughter, and only child packing to a Federal school in Nigeria to live as a boarder.
Did you just say, “Whoa, that’s harsh. Whatever happened to grounding wayward American teens?”
Well, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but in my way of thinking, I’d say I totally deserve what I got. After all, I wasn’t insane when I beat-up two innocent six-year-old’s and got my hands on a roll of marijuana.
“Still, that ain’t enough reason to ship a child out to a foreign country!” You raise one eye-brow in consternation and shoot darts with your eyes at me. You look ready to spring and knock my poor head off my sorry shoulders.
Alright, alright, back-off! I know better than to ruffle your feathers on the night after your miserable team has lost an easy game of baseball to their equally miserable opponents. Not that I totally agree with your point of view about my being dropped off in boarding school last year, but hey, whatever keeps us cool!
However, I’d still love to hear the humble opinion of a unbiased third party.
So to my blog readers, I ask:
Do you totally think my parents flipped their lids and acted too hastily in their decision to make me attend a Federal School in Nigeria as punishment for what I did last year?
Yes? Hell no?
Had I been your kid, how would you have managed the situation?
In your humble opinion, what on earth, if anything, would a kid have to do that would warrant you to dish-out a punishment as harsh as the one my parents meted out to me?
Who knows? Maybe by answering all or part of the above questions, we may uncover some truths about ourselves and the way we see things within the society we live in.
Imagine the music and the feverish dance-steps! Most of you Lagosians, Nigerians, and lovers of Afro beats know what I’m talking about. Whatever you’re doing, wherever you are –whether at home, out in the city, or even totally out in a foreign country– whenever you hear the beat, you just feel like getting straight down and doing a jig or two. Lol!!!
My favorite is the song my Uncle always starts off his parties with, a song that created so much buzz in 2001/2002, I’ve been told:
“Pade mi ni sale…!!!!!”
“Aaaaahhhhh Under!!!!!!”
Yeah, that’s right. You totally know who I’m talking about. You’re already standing in that legendary dancing pose, shoulders back, hips down, butt stuck-out, and backbone set to undulate. You wait for the next cue:
“Le le le le le le le– le le le le– le le le le le le…”
The metallic sound of trumpets, then:
“Arege ji ah! Arege ji ah ah….”
“Aaaahhhh, Under!”
Then follows the well-known lyrics accompanied by staccato crazy beats with the Yoruba talking drums.
“Isale ele ele, konko konko…”
“E gbe jo oooo!!!”
“Kon Below! Konko Below!! Kon Below!!! Konko Below!!!!”
“UNDER!!!!!”
I never really figured out if the catch word is “Under” or “Thunder”, or both. But the song is quite addictive, I must admit. Can’t be totally captured with just words. This here, friends, will require a depicting video.
Just so we’re clear, I’m talking of the one and only, Lagbaja, the masked King of the new millennium Afro beats. See link to a you-tube video of his hit song:
Very captivating, huh? I thought so too when I first heard it, even though I couldn’t understand a word, except “Below”. Lol!!!
To tell the truth, I’d still like to find out what the lyrics mean some time.
Anyways, Lagos parties are something every teenager needs to experience at least once in his/her lifetime.
“What about High-school parties?” You ask, not sure what on earth I’m totally driving at.
Teenage American parties, you mean? Oh puhleease, give me a total break! There just isn’t any comparison!!! Those stolen-beer and pizza-driven excuses for a good time totally fade right into the background beside a Lagos street party.
Yeah! That’s right! It’s not just the colorful attire of the party-goers, the wide-reaching head-ties of the women, the rich agabadas worn by the men, the flashy jewelries, great high-life music, or delicious foods and refreshments supplied as ‘item seven.’ Lol!!!
To be frank with you, in comparison to what I now know as an ‘Owambe party’, which is the most common native party in Lagos; prom parties just feel so drab and boring with the punch and pizza–nothing really much to it. Ugh!!!
One thing I noticed about Lagos parties though, you don’t really need an exotic venue to pull-off the perfect entertaining scene. Most people just use their compounds and the free spaces behind their homes. However, if you’re one of those who live in a flat (apartment) or totally don’t have a wide compound, don’t sweat it. Just use your street!!!!
“No way!!!” You eyes almost pop out of their sockets. “You mean as in streets where cars commute and everything?” you ask, looking quite incredulous. “Seriously?”
Yep!!! Totally!!! Just wait till it’s about 6pm, then measure-out about a two-hundred feet of the street in front of your home– spanning to the left and right– and clamp-down some road-block signs at each end. Then scatter around several plastic chairs and tables and position a few bouncers at strategic points to warn and redirect traffic. Mount an intimidating sound system with heavy-duty speakers wired from the inside of your building with plenty of extensions.
Voila!!!
You totally got yourself a party venue. Lol!!!
“You must be kidding me?” You remark, totally blown outta your mind. “A street party, how cool is that?” You think for a coupla minutes, then ask, “What about the cops? Howddya deal with ‘em, huh?”
Cops? What cops? The same guys the party host already ‘sorted’ with a coupla thousand bucks (Naira)?
Naahhh, street parties don’t get bothered by no cops, irritated neighbors, or grandparents. The general rule of thumbs for such gatherings is very simple:
If you can’t beat ‘em; join ‘em!!!
Lol!!!
“Wow,” you say, totally blown away. “I so wanna spend my summer hols in Lagos.
Now, that’s what I’m talking about. Remember, the above also goes for coming-of-age parties, birthdays, school proms, naming ceremonies, bachelor parties, burial wake-keeping, golden-jubilees, after wedding parties, church functions, sports victory, etc, etc. You can basically celebrate anything in Lagos, even your first job, your first car, college graduations or your house opening. These parties bring the body and soul of the city together in perfect harmony. And you wanna know something cool?
Everyone is totally invited. In effect, a second home for street parties are:
M’ogbo, mo branch!
Indirect translation: I heard the music, I totally invited myself. And all my hommies.
“Yeah right!!!” You roll your eyes. “The more the merrier, huh?”
Yep!!! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! All ya party rats outta ‘ere, please join me:
E gbe jo o!!!
Lotta Luv,
Carlotta
**Stick around, definitely more to come. To reserve read excerpts and reserve copies of the actual FEDDIE GIRL novel by Nona David, visit Bernard Books Publishing
Street hawking in Lagos. What a unique experience! Where else on this earth can one afford prompt service coupled with freedom of choice and the chance to compare, contrast, and haggle prices of goods and services with vendors, and totally feel like a celebrity?
Not in a million cities. Only in Lagos, Nigeria.
Yeah, that’s right. I totally said it. What you gonna do? Drag my white tush to Kiri-Kiri prison?
Anyone who’s ever been to Lagos, even for one day, totally knows the chant of the street-hawkers:
Bread-dy Agege o!
Ewa Agoyin, o wa o!
Buy pure-water!
Ewedu re!
Coke! Fanta!! Sprite!!!
Guguru ati ekpa!
Hot Moin-moin!
Akara, Kpoff-kpoff, Chin-chin!!!
Guinea-fowl eggs!
Dodo! Boole!
It goes on and on and never ends, one street hawker–flat metal tray balanced on his/her head–after another, selling edible goodies from dawn till dusk.
Who can resist their call? No one! That’s why their service is so world-famous.
Indigens say Lagos is for the active and highly energetic individuals. Yeah, right!
Ironically, the lazy and sedentary thrive well in Lagos too. Basically, the street-hawkers live for these people. All one needs to do is drag oneself outta bed and go camp in front of the gate to ones home. All the stuff you need for the day will pass by you in the space of thirty-five minutes. From bath soap to toothbrush and toothpaste. From hot tea and freshly baked bread to heavy meals, snacks, and soft drinks. Hell, you can even make a phone call with a rented cell phone! What more can one ask for?
And to totally cap it all, stuffs are hawked in convenient quantities. You need just two slices of bread for a sandwich? No problem! the street-hawkers will totally sell just two slices. Lol! You only need a squeeze of toothpaste? Not an issue! You only wanna purchase just three tablespoons of hot cocoa and a dash of milk for your morning drink? Sure, they’re totally up for it! You need a handful of detergent for your laundry? Okey-dokie, one handful of ‘super-blue omo’ is measured and priced accordingly. Lol!!!
One favorite theory of mine is that many Europeans are in the wrong country–especially the heavy and lazy ones. Oh yeah? What other city encourages the sedentary lifestyle in humans more than Lagos? Imagine a city where sloth and bumming around is totally acceptable. Vendors bring everything you ever wish for to your doorstep, enabling you to just sit right there on your backside while you lose weight and acquire a long-lasting tan without much trouble. Lol!!!
Oh and it doesn’t end with just hanging outside your gate. While riding in vehicles you can totally buy stuff off the streets too. Who says you gotta stop and exit your vehicle? Nope. No need to bother your precious self. The street-hawkers totally get it. They already anticipate your needs and will rush their wares to your car window. Don’t worry, they are adept at chasing after your car even in the heaviest of traffic. Some of them can totally keep pace with a vehicle moving at 30 kilometers per hour. Amazing, huh?
Lol!!!
While in a car, please, the last thing you wanna do is push your head outta your window and yell, “Bread!” Lol!!! The next thing you’re gonna know, many different kinds of bread are so gonna be shoved in your face. Large loaves, small loaves, dark-chocolate, white, wheat, mixed, milky, sliced, heavy–name it, you got it!
So basically, you now get the idea, right? Hey? You still with me?
I steal a look at your face and realize you’re totally fast asleep.
I’ve been totally rambling to myself for the last hour. Fat luck!
I’ll be back with more!
Lotta Luv,
Carlotta
For information about the upcoming novel, FEDDIE GIRL by Nona David, visit Bernard Books Publishing http://bernardbooks.com
